why me?

It’s dark as the bullets ring out;

Shells bounce off my face as I crouch;

I see a face contort in shock;

His flesh all torn as he is shot;

‘Why me?’

A man trying to boost morale tonight;

Ends a journey of horror and fright;

The blood, the sound, the smells;

The smoke from the many empty shells;

‘Why me?’

Fourteen years since that night;

A life left with ptsd and endless fright;

No sleep, always stressed, self-harming;

Masked by the usual charming;

‘Why me?’

A question that comes to mind;

My life a mess, so emotionally timed;

Constant therapy, the meds, the tears;

The mask, the shame, the night terrors, the fears;

‘Why me?’

Times have changed to improve my life;

To seek happiness, to support my daughter and Wife;

I’ve a journey that’s hard and traumatising;

With an end in sight and no more suffering;

That’s me!